When dealing with a difficult person test, it is easy to fall into a vicious loop of feeding our frustrations. We tend to observe or hear interaction and then interpret that behaviour based on our assumptions rather than on the facts.
After that, we react. Unfortunately, we rarely have all of the information we need to determine why someone acts in a certain way. In the lack of concrete evidence, we prefer to fill in the gaps with our hypotheses about what might happen in their lives.
Beneficial to Distinguish
It can be incredibly beneficial to distinguish between the facts and our assumptions to assist prevent this from happening in the first place. Moreover, separating ourselves and our reactions from the bad feelings that we may be experiencing can be advantageous.
However, getting to this point is much easier said than done, but those who are successful in getting to this point will be better equipped to have meaningful and productive conversations even with those who make us squirm. Tony Schwartz advocates looking at the world through three different glasses.
Treated Unfairly Or Poorly
When you believe you are being treated unfairly or poorly, you can use this lens to help you by asking yourself two straightforward questions.What exactly are the circumstances of this situation?Was there a tale there that I was telling myself about those facts? What is it that I genuinely want to happen as a result of a difficult person test?
Viewing the world via the lens of the person who provoked you is required when using this lens. It does not imply that you must abandon your point of view, but rather that you must broaden your vision. When using the reverse lens, you must ask yourself the following question:
- What is this person feeling, and how does it make sense in the context of the situation?
- So, what exactly is my responsibility in all of this?
It may sound contradictory, but one of the most effective methods to regain your worth when it feels threatened is to find a way to appreciate the point of view of the person who you believe has devalued you. This may not seem easy at first. It’s referred to as empathy.
The use of a long lens. Now and again, your darkest concerns about another person seem to be accurate. He is someone who bullies you unreasonably, and seeing things from his point of view does nothing to alleviate the situation. She is always quick to claim credit for your efforts. When this occurs, begin by asking yourself the following question:
Deep Breathing Challenging
Even when dealing with challenging people, you can do actions to make the most of the situation and strive toward a more constructive end, regardless of the type of person you are dealing with.
It is all about taking deep breaths. Slow, deep breathing activates a neuron at the base of your spine called the Vagus nerve, which transfers neurotransmitters to your brain that has the effect of calming you down and relaxing you.
After that, take time to consider how you are feeling. Think about how you can respond to a difficult person test or make a positive outcome of a challenging scenario. Ask yourself these questions. When you force yourself to think of ways to achieve a positive end, your brain is more likely to enter a more positive state of thinking.
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